The Weekend Before the Conference #3

The Weekend Before the Conference is an erotic comedy centered around Diane. Diane is a soft spoken, sheltered, accounts receivable clerk who gets the opportunity of a lifetime: a work trip to San Diego, CA. Diane will rack up miles and rack up sexual experiences.

Going back to my cubicle I try not to make any small talk. One time I wore a Florida Gators polo to work and someone asked me about their football team and I had to go home early. I only wore the polo because I spilled some stew on my blouse at lunch and had to run to goodwill to find a shirt with the right size and fabric.

Yes. I know. I ate stew for lunch. But that was the only time I’ve eaten stew for lunch. And I do not eat it at the office. I eat it in my car. The stew place is gone now, so I can’t even get stew for lunch if I wanted to. Someone said the stew place closed because they were doing street racing in the parking lot but I don’t get that. It doesn’t make sense. But, its gone. No more stew. Not for years.

And no small talk. I work with a group of absolute nice, rock star people who are so incredible at what they do. I don’t want to bother them. And what would I even say? That Lisa is fully smooth everywhere on her body? That’s the most interesting thing I know.

There’s a part of me that wants to poke my head into one of the cubicles and just say, “Hey, did you know that Lisa gets every hair on her taint and puss zapped off by one of her friends? But they are not friends anymore?” But what if they asked me a question? That’s all the information I have.

I could lie.

No. It’s bad enough to be a gossip, but a liar? Terrible.

And I don’t think I lied about the stew. I can’t get stew. And I never have eaten stew at my desk.

No. I don’t think I could do small talk. Not with what I have right now.

I get back to my cubicle. I’ve got some really fun bobbleheads facing out on the cubicle walls. It helps me find my cubicle. It’s so easy to get lost, but I know which one is mine when I see the little bobbleheads bounce up and down. The bobbleheads are baby angels. These are babies who are in heaven which makes me sad because they got to heaven some way, but it is also playful because their heads bounce up and down. There was one complaint that my cubicle looks like a white trash yard sale and that made me so upset! These are angels! I cried.