Old Head #5

Old Head follows Craig, a San Diego skateboarding local, and the last of a dying breed. Old Head episodes will be coming out on a monthly basis (estimated).

It’s always tough converting my webcam video crypto currency into dollars normal people use, but I can always find some kid who has a Tor server lined up and make the currency exchange into my wells fargo bank account. I think the dark web is kind of played out so I don’t like to talk about it very much. Just know that I have cash.

I roll up to Overload on my feet because you are not allowed to skate on North Park sidewalks. As much as I shred I know its good to have a balanced life. Not everywhere can be about skating. And if you skate all the time, your skating will suffer. Allow your heart to be open to new adventures, niño.

Overload has a whole bunch of groms out front. Lil guys. Children, some would say. Most of the time I can just walk into Overload because there is no one blocking the door but today I can’t. I pull up to the outer edge of the grom horde. 

Over all these little sweaty heads I see Cameron. Cameron runs the shop. Cameron is the guy. If you have a skate tape, he is the guy who will say that he might show it to someone who can ultimately make a decision. He knows what all the cool kids like to wear, he is tall, and he doesn’t have love handles so his shirts look nice.

Cameron sees me and looks away. Him and I go back, so he is comfortable with not making eye contact with me. But I don’t really have time for games today. I need in.

“Cameron, make a path for me so I can get close to you.”

“Hey Craig why don’t you come back another day? We got Andy MacDowell in here right now and its a mad house.”

Andy MacDowell? The Yellow Helmet of the West? Ok. I know I came for wheels, but now I came for two things.

“Cameron, I need wheels. And I may not have another day…” I give Cameron this look that implies that I may take my own life. Cameron makes a little path for me because he doesn’t want to be that guy that doesn’t let a suicidal person into a local skate shop. Word gets around in this town and even though there are a couple grips of people who would like to see me dead there are some that might not.

Being in a skateshop is being right where a guy like me needs to be. Everything a person who has my likes and needs can buy their stuff here. Except for food, but even that can be something where you go up to a guy and say hey why don’t you give me some of the food you have or go buy me something somewhere else.

But what skate shops really provide is a place that lets you know everything you need to wear and ride to fit in. And for a guy like me who does not make social connections super great, I need merchandise to help me with projecting what I believe in. If a homie sees that I am wearing the latest brands he can in fact trust me and trust is the foundation of any two guys trying to be chill.

I don’t have time for that right now because my eyes are popping out of my head looney toons style because I’m looking at Andy MacDowell and his perfect yellow helmet. He has the helmet on his head unbuckled. That’s how a vert skater tells you he is off the clock.

I start to move towards him. He’s hanging out by the glass case that holds the wheels bearings and trucks so if anything I have a good excuse to be over there. I don’t even know what to say to him. I mean we’re two guys who play important roles in the skating community at large, so that might be a nice thing to bring up. 

It always trips me out that professional skaters do not look like me. Every single one of them look like they take daily walks and understand how the food pyramid works. Andy MacDowell is no different. All his clothes fit him. His big eyebrows and chiseled jaw are looking really nice. Makes me feel kind of like shit because I don’t look like him at all but I am low key hopeful that the skating industry is looking for a professional skateboarder that kind of looks like some type of shit.

I am so down on myself I don’t even realize that Andy McDowell is looking at me. Like really looking at me. I look at him. I throw up a hang loose, even though I am not loose at at all. I’m mega tight. He does not throw one back.

“Get over here,” he says to me. “Get over here right now.” He points his finger down onto the wheels and bearing display. All the groms and parents stop chirping pretty quick. I move towards MacDowell. I hope the face he is making, which looks scary, is actually a face that is cool and seeking some friendship.

When I get to MacDowell, all I can think about is the word musk. Like, the dude has a stank to him. Not bad, but like, you know this is MacDowell. And where he is, like, that’s his spot. My musk is like mcdonalds bag in a hot car. That is because I am around a lot of mcdonalds bags in my hot car. I mean, my car is actually a van but, same same.

It is hard to do much thinking on other stuff because MacDowell has my elephant seal neck in his hands. He is squeezing extremely hard, looking for something. This is actually a lot of intimacy that is not 100 guaranteed violence against me, so I am having a hard time not moaning. Parents of groms are not stoked and are verbally not happy but I dunno. Try to live your life without jealousy. 

Also, don’t be too jealous because I am in pain. MacDowell is getting more and more frustrated. Finally he stops. He puts his hands on my shoulders.

“How fast can you run?” He asks.

“Like skate on my skateboard?”

“No. Run. On the beach or up hills.”

“Pretty fast I guess. But I don’t know, I prefer vert skating. I’ve never done it, but I think I’m a lot like you in that I am probably more technique focused–”

“Enough. Shut up. I mean, sure, bud. For sure. Why don’t you hang in the back and wait for me to do these signatures, and then we’ll talk about something really cool. I think you have a gift.”

Woah. Record scratch. Mic Drop. Bomb detonating. Drone strike. Andy MacDowell thinks I have a gift. I mean, he is kind of old so getting in with him is probably not the best way of getting to the top of the skating world. He is an OG for sure, but if I go full in with him I might get looked at as not super relevant, you know? Oh what am I saying? I just had a gun in my mouth a couple hours ago. This fucking rules.

“Mr. MacDowell, I’d love to go into the back but I don’t think Cameron would let me. Actually I know he wouldn’t because I have tried to go back there and kick it with him on multiple occasions and he now says that there is a gun back there to keep me out.”

Without missing a beat, Andy MacDowell looks at Cameron who is working the register.

“Cameron, let this guy in the back room or I’ll shoot you in the head right now.”

Andy MacDowell reaches for his waistband and grabs at something that could be a gun, could be a dick, either way Cameron does not want a headshot so he motions me into the back room.

Yeah, it pays to have a gift :)