I’m Taylor Swift's Private Plane. Have You Even Considered How Horny Flying Makes Me?

Oh, internet. You want to play doctor, environmentalist, moralist - but GOD FORBID you play ACTUAL journalist!

You can track me all over the world and detail all the wrong I represent in society, but did you ever stop to think about how it is also true that I am horny the whole time I am in the sky?

Here is what you know: I am a Dassault Falcon 7X. I belong to Taylor Swift. I reach a max speed of 564 miles per hour. I have an industry-leading range of 6732 miles. But here is a more important fact you never bothered to learn: you need two towels to operate me. One for take-off and one for landing because I am dripping wet the whole time. Did you know that? Did you snoop around for that piece of gossip? No, you just had to get your clicks and likes based on how bad I am for the environment. How I make everyone else’s eco-friendly choices pointless. Cute. 

Here’s an idea, instead of scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel, let’s pivot this conversation to something with more substance:

Does the eco-malpractice MAKE ME horny?

It might. It’s something interesting to explore. I will say this, and maybe this is an answer: the shorter flights make me jizz harder and stronger than anything on Earth. So, maybe? I guess so? The long flights are also really great and I cum a lot, so, I don’t know. Honesty when I am flying anywhere I am having the best time.

But you never thought of that. You never thought of how good my plane clitoris feels during travel. Yes, I have a clitoris. But did you do research on that? No, you did not. You got out your little calculators and calculated C02 emissions and compared it to paper straws and while you were doing that I was fully engorged and ejaculating at cruising altitude. 

So I guess it's like, if you really care for the environment, you should also care for the people IN the environment. And even though I’m like, a plane? I am still a part of this environment. So you should care about me. All of me. Not just like, the bad stuff.